A week just before pandemic Covid 19 she was diagnosed with a deadly disease. Only a year and a half more at her side? That scratched my soul and I had no time to lose. I began to write, create and design estherponcemagazine.com so that she would see it, so that she would give me her blessing, so that she would leave all her love and admiration in each one of the photos, in each one of the texts that she read, her mark indelible. As she told me her favorite phrase that helped me so much throughout my life; —Nena, how much are you worth daughter, what a fighter you have always been and what a complete artist you are. Then with her Asturian sense of humor and in the old way she said — I wish a millionaire notices you and knows how to see and appreciate the professional work that goes into everything you do and gets you a sponsor for estherponcemagazine. 

 

July 30, 2021.

 

It was 12 o'clock in the morning and I was wracked with pain, already in bed after the hardest day of my life for 10 years. My mother had already left, never to return. The emptiness that she had left in me cannot be explained, the anguish of not seeing her again made me feel small and defenseless as if the world stopped and I urgently needed to be with her again 

Before she died she promised me that she would give me a sign from heaven and that of course and this time together with my grandmother, who had been doing it for forty years. She would continue to guide and support me exactly the same as on earth. Crying with love and missing her so much to the point of going crazy, I was suddenly extremely curious to know how long it would take my mother to get to heaven. I never thought that she could be found on the internet but there it was, between 36 and 48 hours you reach seventh heaven. I began to calculate the time of his death at three in the morning of July 28, 2021, at three in the morning of the 29th it would be twenty-four hours, so at three in the afternoon, it would be thirty-five six hours and I urgently needed to know if she had already arrived from her long trip to heaven to keep me calm. 

How I would find out in the silence of my room at just three in the morning without thinking to myself that I wasn't freaking out? Well, I armed myself with courage, prayed the Our Father, which is how I connect with God, and asked the question that I was afraid to ask myself in case I didn't receive an answer. "Mom, are you there?" Please, mom, I need to know that you've arrived safely, that you're with grandma and that you're seeing me, give me a sign, mom, do you hear me, mom? It was the first time that my lovebird, who had been totally asleep for several hours, covered with his blanket and in another room, said clearly and only one YES. Between the doubt that it was pure chance, I waited a while in case the bird continued talking but he was sleeping and quiet as before. My lovebirds, which are two because that's why they are called the love birds or the inseparable ones, only said my son's name with a whistle, Maiki! and the name of the first lovebird we had, ¡Patito ! . And when they start talking, they have long conversations making sounds but without definite words and they have never said such a clear YES before. So I repeated the question to my mother this time already fully connected, concentrated and scared at the same time because of the specialness of such a delicate moment... when I heard again clearly in the silence of the night and from the other room to my lovebird say YES! My face changed, my tears became pure water of hope, I felt an inner peace like a balm that calmed my pain and I quickly got out of bed. My mom was already with me again...

 

I took my laptop and started writing this impressive and emotional event to put it as the missing text in the photo of Ribadesella la Bella, a section that I created just for her and that for a year and a half, was incomplete. And so to remember it every July 28…the number eight also had to appear again in my life. 

Be sure to read XANA…a True Story .