At Maria's house I was less and less time, lately I was alone a lot with her husband and I did not feel very comfortable. One day after dinner, Maria’s husband told me that his back hurt a lot and if I could give him a massage. I had already told him that being a prima ballerina and exposing myself to many hours of rehearsals and also on stage, that I always had a masseur at my disposal and that I learned a lot from them because I asked them and I was interested in knowing each muscle of the body. So he would think that I would take away the pain and also for free, because even making a lot of money, he was one of those who took the potato omelette in a taper to the Spanish Film Festival ... but they were doing a lot for me and I felt bad
to tell him No, I asked him where he wanted me to give it to him, he told me that on the sofa it was very uncomfortable and that it was better in his room. When I saw myself on top of him without a shirt, in the double bed, I thought of Maria and I remembered my mother's sayings; do not do with others, what you do not want for yourself ... I even thought it was a trap and that Maria had put a camera in her room, so I packed my bags and went to Paul's house, which is where I was teaching to the students who wanted to continue studying with me when I was in LA. I was teaching in a storage room at the back of the house that Paul's father set up for me, with mirrors and wooden floors. Right there there was a very large room with its bathroom, where I kept my clothes for years and would only stay there for a few days until I returned to Spain.
The only problem was that I couldn't go out for a walk like in Beverly Hills, because it was a very conflictive neighborhood for blacks and Latinos.
Being there made me think about my arrival in LA and the overwhelm I felt when I couldn't leave the country to go see my brother who had had a very serious accident and was fighting between life and death. My brother was a lifelong surfer, but for some time he had immersed himself in practicing kitesurfing, he even came to train the first 13-year-old girl, who later became the champion of Spain. One day in Denia, an unusual gust of wind pushed him so hard that he pulled him out of the sea and crashed into the mountain, bursting several organs. He was in the newspapers, he had surgery and thank God he survived.
Rafael Amargo called me to offer me to be for a few months as a guest artist in his new show at the Alcazar Theater in Madrid and it was great for me because just those months William would continue in Iraq and because it was time to take back my career in Spain.
The contract, pun intended, was the bitterest of my life. It was like being in a continuous nightmare. Already in rehearsals I could feel the envy of all the hyenas who were willing to see me fail. As a guest artist, I couldn't even choose the music for my choreography. Juan Parrilla, who was the musical director, was under Rafael's orders and they agreed so that
at my solo , for “Solea”, would not have any rise in rhythm or anything commercial that could draw applause from the public.
My dressing room would have to be one of the first and next to the Director, since they put mine last, at the end of an endless corridor, so that no one would come to greet me? ... The dressing room of the Music Director who came dressed from home, who did not used makeup and who did not have three wardrobe changes like me, was four times bigger than mine. For the press conference that takes place before the dress rehearsal, the invited artist has to be seated in the center of the table, they told me to wait in the dressing room, that they would tell me before starting. They never told me and when I went out to see what was happening, the press conference was already over.
My godmother, Miss Esther Prieto, had worked watching ballets on Spanish TV for 25 years and she did not want to miss the dress rehearsal and, as always, give me her advice. She knew Rafael from when I took him in my company for the choreography contest.
My "Solea" was inspired by his father, my godfather, the one who was Director of the Contemporary Museum of Madrid, Mr. Julio Prieto Nespereira and I took out on stage a hat that he gave me, from when he was director of the School of Fine Arts in Havana and it had to appear in the center of the stage on the ground, with a light cannon illuminating it. Before my performance, the stagehand came to my dressing room to pick up the hat, so that everything would be ready for when I went on stage and appeared on the floor in his spotlight. But my time came and the hat was not on the ground, I stopped the rehearsal and Rafael yelling like a crazy bitch from the stalls, told me to keep dancing that it was not important, I told him that of course it was important, that the choreography It was with a hat and that I would not continue until the hat appeared. Besides that it was not just any hat of props that everyone used, but it was an object with a lot of personal value. When Rafael unexpectedly got on stage and with the microphone in his hand, he kept shouting so that everyone could hear him well, while saying that I was not the only one who had been born between silk sheets, that he was also a marquis and tell me to keep dancing or to go home. My godmother, a super educated lady, who was also in the stalls, was speechless, scared of what she just witnessed. I went out crying to look for my hat, the one that suddenly appeared on the ground by surprise. I finished rehearsal and went terrified and disappointed to the dressing room wondering if it was worth continuing. I had always been envious in all companies from a very young age, but this was already bullying! ... when entering my tiny dressing room, I found a bouquet with two dozen red roses from William, a dozen for each month of contract and a bouquet from my parents of white roses with a note that said; Daughter, dance with that art and that sensitivity that God has given you, and for all of us who love you ... your elegance is innate and the public will know how to recognize it, a lot of shit! The other bouquets had to be left out because they did not fit.
The people in the first seats got up and left the theater, I had never seen that in any company, they came out saying that the shrill noise of the feet was unbearable, super loud and continuous and from the beginning and that all the numbers were the same . When I left, everything took on a different color, people applauded for long minutes thanking me for not stomping like savages, for not making noise but music with my feet, for the silences, for letting them listen to the music and for the elegance. When the show ended, in addition to my family and friends, many people passed by and without entering Rafael's dressing room, they crossed the long corridor to congratulate me. Among them, Enrique del Pozo, a singer who became famous thanks to my father and who at that time represented artists to go to TV programs, told me; My dear, you are the best of the show, if you have problems…I am sure you will have them, let me know, and he gave me his business card.
The next day, Rafael's father and the manager told me that it was no longer necessary for me to return to the theater that they were going to remove my number from the show, because it was to long and people had not liked it. The father knew me and my family too, I told him that he could not do that, that I had a contract signed for two months and that I would report him, that every day I would stand at the door to wait for the press and tell them about the bullying they were doing with me from the beginning, in addition to telling them in detail how they put oxygen to their son to be able to dance because he would come to the party straight to the theater without sleeping and with several grams of cocaine in his veins, without forgetting to then go to the police to inform them of the substances that he brought to traffic with his dancers and musicians in the theater.
I continued dancing for my friends, for my students, for my guests who had not seen me dance for years, for the public, but the hat was never in its place, they made me suffer until the last second so that I would not come out relaxed ... but in Instead of sinking, it gave me more strength and I danced better and they applauded me more.
The day to get paid came and how was it to be expected, they didn't pay me… it was time to leave the company.
I called Enrique de Pozo and he offered to take me to a very famous program on Antena 3 TV “Where are you heart” and tell everything. We met in the Juan Carlos I park in Madrid to make a promotional video, on my beloved metal ball by the Japanese architect Bukichi Inoue. The cameras when they realized that they had to climb a super steep hill for a kilometer, they told me that they expected me to be at least as good at dancing as Sara Baras, I told them that I was much better and when we finished they asked me if they had to climb another one that they were delighted with me. Right there I signed the contract.
Already on the TV program, the journalists were worse than the hyenas from Rafael's company, they attacked me and put me in, humiliating me, and to top it all, Enrique del Pozo never paid me what was agreed.
SANTORINI… I was looking forward to reaching the Aegean Sea and seeing William, disconnecting from all the nightmare, resting on that wonderful island and, if possible, becoming dolphins as the story goes. I had never seen so many cats together, they were the owners of the island. The most beautiful thing about Santorini is that all the restaurants face the sea, it is a very long street, until you reach a hermitage and on each side the sea. We had a dream week and we went to another island.
HYDRA… located between the gulfs of Saronic and Argolic. Where there are no cars and there are only donkeys to take you from one side of the island to the other. Every day we would go to a terrace anchored on a fairytale cliff, and enjoy the best show in the world, the famous sunset that attracted millions of tourists, who as a tradition, just after sunset, threw themselves into the sea, including William, I preferred to stay dry, with a glass of Greek white wine that has a very special flavor and take advantage of the fact that, as with coffee in Rome, it is the only place where I can drink it, in other countries it gives me a headache.
The last night, we reserved a table in a restaurant overlooking the Aegean Sea, it caught my attention because it was all white, the waiters wore white, the walls were white, the table and chairs were white, the tablecloths were white, the flowers were white. For a moment I thought we were in heaven. Peace reigned and I felt super in love taking a walk in the clouds and it occurred to me to share with William what I was feeling at that moment; What if it was time to be a mother? I asked him if he thought the day would come to stop taking the contraceptive pill, that a dancer never sees the time to get fat and stop dancing, but I had been dancing and traveling the world since I was 15 years old, that I was in love with him , that I was already 36 years old, and did not want my rice to go overboard, as we say in Spain. He asked for a bottle of champagne and told me that I had to keep taking the pill but that for now we could choose the baby's name.
It was very romantic, I told her that I was convinced that he would be a boy and that I wanted him to be named like my father and like him. We toasted and that night was one of the happiest.
We returned to SPAIN to MALLORCA ... we were in a restaurant where all the furniture was collectible antiques, a private house where each table had its own fireplace, opera was heard and all the decoration was based on baskets on the floor with fruits and flowers. all sides of the most beautiful and all natural, they were changed daily, incredible that place ... the hotel was next door and as we swalked down the street, I met a dancer who recognized me, —what a coincidence! I told. He told me that he was working in public relations at a nightclub, Nikki Beach, undoubtedly the most famous in Palma de Mallorca and he gave me his phone number in case we wanted to go. William preferred to go back to the hotel and I told him that maybe we would go to Brunch in the morning. We were talking and laughing in the room when William asked me who I worked for, did he think I was a spy or something like that, I told him how much alcohol was making him hallucinate and for us to go to sleep, but I never forget that question. The next day we went to the awesome brunch at Nikki Beach and when they asked us at the door how many and our names, I told them there were two of us, The Spy Dancer and the Diplomat.
We continued traveling through the north of Spain and I kept thinking about whether I was really ready to be a mother and whether William would be the ideal father, but I was in love and my heart was stronger than my reason. We arrived at SANTANDER ... at the beach of Somo to eat the exquisite Tiger mussels with béchamel that William tasted for the first time. Afterwards we visited SAN SEBASTIAN… wishing to dine on La Concha beach in a restaurant with three Michelin stars that we had reserved months in advance and to taste the best seafood and fresh fish from the Cantabrian Sea.
We took a flight and went to LAS PALMAS DE GRAN CANARIA ... to surf, there we met my brother Daniel and a girl he had been dating for a short time and that I still didn't know. He drove girls all crazy and she was totally one of them . At night we met in a bar and drank so much that we ended up singing over and over again holding each other by the shoulders and in a circle; bye-bye, Miss American Pie… this´ll be the day that I die… we almost missed the flight to LANZAROTE… the island was like being on the moon, all gray, full of black volcanic stones, thank goodness we were staying in the Melia Salinas hotel where the sculptor and painter Cesar Manrique designed spectacular hanging gardens that took you into a wild and exotic flora that made you think you were in another country.
We went to an area of the island where the best waves are, Famara, and William spent the whole morning surfing, I kept looking at the surfers and remembering Los Angeles and our adventures every Tuesday with Bandolery at the bar “Dime “.
We got to the hotel, we showered and things in life, when William had already gotten used to taking a nap and then sleeping a nap as I wanted, it was me that day who directly lay in bed to sleep a nap, thinking that William would be super tired, but in the end I had to take a nap with him first and then sleep.
At night something magical happened, we were on the terrace of the room looking at the sea and William began to throw over the railing, the m & m of the colors that he did not want and had to stop because they fell on the ceiling of an observatory that we did not knew it was. I immediately called reception to ask if it was open and we were lucky because the boy was leaving and he did us the favor of being able to visit. I was as excited as a little girl, in the dome there was a huge telescope and the boy told us that it was the perfect night to see in the sky, the Ursa Major, the Ursa Minor, the Pole Star, the rings of Saturn ... I was the first to observe the stars and the boy was explaining to us what we saw, when super excited he told me; - Look how lucky you are! You are now looking at the star that shines the brightest, it is Sirius! It belongs to the constellation Orion. When William wanted to look, he was gone and I went outside to see the wonderful sky full of stars. I was looking for Xana my grandmother, my grandfather my hero, when I started screaming — a shooting star! be quiet! , be quiet,! I'm going to make a wish ...
William returned to Iraq and I went to ROME… to teach an intensive one-week flamenco course, organized by a teacher who had studied with me for many years and who, on my previous visit to Rome, had met me at a concert.
It seems that the bullying streak was haunting me, the teacher gathered 10 of her students to take the course, they all paid for the full course and studied their first two hours, they were delighted and we said goodbye until the next day. When I got to school, I waited in the study and no one had come, 30 minutes passed and I was still alone, I called the teacher and had the phone turned off and she never answered my calls again. I asked at the reception and they told me that they did not know that teacher at all, that she did not give classes there as she had told me, and that she reserved the study by phone for only two days. The world of flamenco aficionados and their insecurities has many dark sides, but I have never been disrespected like this. What I don't know is how that crazy woman dared to challenge me, wasn't she afraid of meeting me again? , and here comes one more saying from my mother, this time taken from Don Quixote; With the church we have met Don Sancho!
I did not say anything to my parents and I showed up as a surprise in VALENCIA ... my mother, as soon as she saw me, told me that I was very pretty, different, with a special sparkle in my eyes ... I told her about my idea of wanting to be a mother, that I had shared it with William and all the conversation we had about stopping the pill. I asked for her advice and her blessing, she told me that it was a very important step and it was necessary to have told him about it to know if he felt the same as me. That in those cases, if a man does not want to be a father, in the first moment that the woman let him know, he would have run away, would have ended the relationship and would not have continued to maintain relations with me. But since none of that had happened, let me not worry and think that William was still in a country at war and that everything had its moment in life. And that my trip to Los Angeles was in two weeks.
It was Fallas week and we didn't stop for a minute at home. Mr Carlos Carbonell, father-in-law of my aunt Carmen, my mother's sister, was the architect who designed the Valencia City Council and we had a balcony from where we could see the “Mascleta” at two o'clock during the day, which are the pyrotechnic shots that last 5 minutes and the city fills with gunpowder and fireworks at twelve o'clock.
It was March 19 the last day of the Fallas, San José, Father's Day and at night the " crema" is celebrated, which is when all the fallas in each neighborhood of the city are burned and the entire Valencia burns in flames. My brother Daniel had come from Madrid to be with my father and when he saw me he told me to stop eating ham because I was getting fat. We were about to leave for the town hall and see the last "mascleta" ... my 3 cousins, daughters of my aunt Carmen, who lived right next door, in a building also designed by their grandfather and where a sister lived on each floor were waiting for us there. My brother left with my father so as not to be late and my mother and I would go later.
I looked at my mother and we both thought the same thing, when did the Tomaka Cow have to come? . But my mother looked at my chest and said; —Baby, we urgently go to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. "But Mom, it can't be!" I can't be pregnant, it's impossible, I haven't stopped taking the pill for a single day and I don't think it's the Shooting Star that makes my wish come true… —Now I remember that when you were born I had asked a shooting star, my mother told me.
I have no words to explain what I felt while waiting for the result, the things that went through my head, the tremors, the responsibility, the fear ... I was not able to see the result, but I wanted to make sure that what my mother just told me was not a joke ... those two purple lines were tattooed on my soul forever. I was pregnant! I never took that flight to Los Angeles.
When Paul found out, instead of congratulating me, he stopped paying what was agreed on a monthly basis and I was left with a debt of thousands of euros a month ... he said he had been waiting for me for years and he disappeared from the map, no one could find him. Today, it is still missing.
I sold the penthouse that I had bought in Denia to a television producer who instead of signing a contract we shook hands like the Jews do and I loved that. It made me think of the great historical mistake that Spain had made in 1492 and all that they lost, and I value once again all that I had achieved in life and as the Jews say; Everything that can be solved with money is not a problem, it is an expense.
William was still in Iraq, when I broke the news over the phone, his reaction was so surreal that here is the last saying in this book; Be careful what you wish for ...
THE END.
